Ure Moms Blog Green And Natural Parenting – When Nori was about a year old, my mother came to visit and kindly offered to put her to sleep. I was in another room, but I heard them reading books and singing songs, and when she softly closed the door, my mother said, “Sleep tight, Nori. I love you.”
It really impressed me. It’s not weird or forced, but… it sounds completely foreign to my ears. I have never heard those three words spoken by my parents. Growing up, none of them told my brothers – it wasn’t how we talked to each other. I knew they loved me, but as immigrant parents they showed it in their own way.
Ure Moms Blog Green And Natural Parenting
I grew up in a family characterized by the traits of a tiger parent, and I know from reports from readers that this is familiar to many of you. Hugs and kisses were as rare as sleeping with friends (aka… they never happened). The “conversations” were mostly one-sided lectures or shouting matches that suddenly ended with “don’t answer!” because your parents are never wrong. There were a lot of rules and reading. By studying I mean the homework my parents did, not for school. When my friends weren’t at the movies, I was at home memorizing my father’s daily PSAT vocabulary word quota.
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The way our relationship was, my parents weren’t the first people I turned to with good or bad news. I couldn’t wait to get out of the house, move to a new city for college, and find my own way. Even later in life, I was disappointed that I didn’t have the bragging rights of going to an Ivy League school or becoming a doctor or lawyer like this kid or that kid.
But now, as a mother, I see my parenthood through a different lens. And, little by little, being on the other side allowed me to gradually work on strengthening my relationship with my parents. The question that always lingers in my mind is how can I pass on the same values and work ethic to my children, allowing them to feel free to express their feelings, thoughts and fears in a way I never had?
Part of that, I know, is understanding and appreciating where their kind of tough love comes from. They were immigrants who came here in two suitcases with all their belongings. They went down to downtown Philadelphia and worked during the day, renting corn husks at corner stores and behind restaurants. While our generation had many non-linear paths to success, they knew there was only one set path in the world, so they did everything they could to prepare me for it. In the end, they did their best. Because of those sacrifices, the risks they took and the things they didn’t accept, I have the privilege of raising my children here and even thinking about this topic.
Many people have told me that once you become a parent, everything will come naturally. “Trust your instincts… You’ll know what to do.” But for me, it’s something I consciously do every day. I only know the kind of parents I was raised with. While I respect and appreciate my parents for how they raised me, my hope is to find a new balance with my children that fits with who they are and our current lives.
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A few years ago, I voiced these fears and questions and received wonderful advice from readers that I kept to myself. I refer to some of these words often, and I wanted to go through the ones that really resonated with me.
1. Listen to the little things they tell you now, and one day they will become more important things.
I want my child to have a safe, reliable place to call or talk if something is wrong. Growing up, my ball punishment would outweigh my urge to tell the truth, or talk and communicate about things in general. As many of you have already said, listening to ALL the news from your child without reacting immediately will go a long way in helping your relationship.
This advice also resonated with me because so often in our daily lives we are glued to our screens, it’s easy to ignore what kids are trying to tell you. It is very important to them when and what they want to express to you.
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And when it comes to how to talk to them in more important situations, I think this advice is also very helpful: try to see the world through their eyes and then respond like a parent.
When dealing with children’s behavior and tantrums, the common thread in almost all the parenting advice I’ve read is that children tend to set boundaries. They may enjoy constantly pushing these boundaries and boundaries, but at the end of the day, they feel safer when they know their caregivers are firmly and consistently accountable.
This advice hit home – I know the constant comparisons, “that boy” or even talking about my other siblings’ achievements, are the opposite for me. To this day, I don’t know if I’m proud of my parents. But now that I’m a mother, it’s very easy to subtly and unconsciously fall into the comparison game, even in the early stages (seeing other kids walking faster, talking faster, being in a preschool community…).
With the tips the guys shared, I know I shouldn’t belittle my kids in front of others (e.g. “ah, he’s shy”) because they always listen and start to believe how you define them, whether or not it’s true. .
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It was mentioned a lot to me and it was a very strange idea for me given my upbringing. I’ve done this with my marriage and I believe in admitting and apologizing when I’m wrong, big or small!
5. Don’t let your expectations dictate who you want them to be
While it was a little less tangible and lasting, it resonated deeply with me and is something I will remember for the rest of my life as a parent.
Whether from your own parenting or childhood experiences, share tips that really stuck with you or were part of your parenting journey! Family. Grandparents. Genealogy. races. together. relationships. These are all the words you will find when looking for your relatives to create a family tree. A family tree is a graph (it may look a bit like a tree) that shows the relatives of all families over the current several generations. It is your genealogy to learn this information.
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It is a sad fact of life that our interest in our heritage often ages. Those in our family who were able to tell us were long gone or old and their memories faded. Many of us can now honestly raise our hands and say that we wish we could have sat down with our older relatives and bombarded with questions about life and their grandparents when they were younger. This post encourages you to take action now and research your ancestors, but do the same for your children.
In 2010, Emory University asked children about their family history. They found that “family stories provide a sense of identity over time and help children understand who they are in the world.”
All your brothers and sisters (they must be on the same line). It’s a generation. Next are your parents, aunts, uncles, and so on.
Generation’s way of describing their grandparents at the time. You’re adding a big one for the next generation. So if you were talking about three generations in front of your grandparents, you’d say “great”.
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The important thing is not to over complicate it. Keep the craft side simple, the important thing is the theme.
We made a small family tree of the children going back to their grandparents. On a large piece of paper, we made a tree out of brown tissue paper. So, with green ink, our close relatives, mom, dad and kids made sheets with their fingerprints. We talked about family relationships, “brothers,” “sisters and uncles” and who they were. We started writing these names on little white papers and we had to put them on the tree
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