Girlfriend Interfering With Parenting – London Here, Plus Resident Relations Manager. While I may not know everything, I do know something about love and our pursuit of it is endless. After writing several A Plus articles about dating, relationships, and sex, I’m ready and willing to answer all your love questions (submitted.
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Girlfriend Interfering With Parenting
My daughter’s mother and I have been separated for many years. We don’t work, but we still get along well as far as parents go. We always work together with our daughter as parents. I’m at his mom’s house for Thanksgiving dinner, still get personal invitations to his grandma’s Easter party every year, we go to car shows together, we both celebrate birthdays . and completely child-friendly activities. He continues to invite me to spend time with them at their beach house if they want to plan a trip that ruins my time with him. I grew up to be her mother’s best friend, then I talked to her for six years before I broke up. I still keep in touch with his family as work buddies and general friendships outside of me having a baby together.
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Now the problem. Since I started the day, I have kept his mom talking to me about community events like birthday parties, sports events, and getting dishes at his mom’s house for this past Thanksgiving. My girlfriend has a lot of trouble joining us. I feel like we are ruining our child’s idea of how parents should be together and doing all the wrong things. It was during our relationship that it would be a deal breaker. He believed that we could not spend as much time with our daughter as we used to. The most recent argument we had, my daughter was invited to a birthday party with her first friends at school while I was with her [her mother] for the duration of the party. It was unacceptable to her [my girlfriend]. Am I wrong?
No one said that working together would be easy, perhaps because every ex-couple is trying to figure it out as they go. Therefore, when this idea begins to gain more attention thanks to social media, it is important to remember that you and your daughter’s parents will not be like parents and others. Family and divorce mediator and parenting instructor Betsy Ross, LICSW, CGP tells A Plus that a healthy parenting relationship is characterized by, but not limited to, the following characteristics:
Considering these circumstances, it seems that you and your parents are doing a great job in instilling these qualities in your daughter’s life. Even on the days when you don’t go potty, take heart in knowing that you and your daughter’s mom are in a difficult, ever-changing situation, and that you are working together to make it through. .
“I believe that the greatest gift a divorced or separated parent can give their children is to have a healthy and productive relationship with their other parent,” he said. Ross explains. “It’s not always easy to make the transition from a partner or romantic partner to ‘exes’ who are partners in raising healthy children, but having the love and attention of both parents involved is rewarding. debt and make it a worthwhile goal.”
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While there’s no parenting manual you can use to ensure your daughter’s well-being, there isn’t one for parenting as a couple. Dr. Spock can only do so much; The rest is trial and error.
Now to your girlfriend. His problem may not have anything to do with your arrangements with your parents, but he has doubts about how he will fit into your life.
Since your daughter is still young, it would be good that you and your ex want to spend more time with her, depending on the situation. So I think children’s events, like birthday parties, are the right place for you to socialize with each other, the event doesn’t matter. Neither of you should waste precious time of your daughter’s life because your girlfriend is not 100% satisfied with the situation.
That said, you can and should do whatever you can to make your girlfriend as comfortable as possible, as long as it doesn’t compromise your parenting rights. It’s completely understandable for your partner to worry that your romance might rekindle when you’re on friendly terms with your ex. “The relationship between divorced parents is complicated, especially when one or both of them have an active and involved relationship with their children’s parents/family,” Ross says.
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He said other things that can make your girlfriend reject. For example, your parents’ relationship can be unexpected, painful and painful, which reminds you of the life you lived before your new love arrived. Plus, your girlfriend “might feel like she doesn’t have the deep feelings that your readers have right now with the mother of their child and her family,” Ross said. “It may also be that your reader does not help them to talk about their new love and navigates the feelings of jealousy and envy that accompany this power, thus leaving them feeling frustrated. spirit and anger. Creating,” Ross concluded.
Looking forward to the next time you, your girlfriend, and your ex are at an event together, give your girlfriend a chance to talk about what hurt her in the previous conversation and discuss whether you Everyone has expectations from the conversation again. When it’s your turn, feel free to outline the things in your relationship with your ex — like honesty and support for each other — that you believe are important for good parenting. This will help you understand the negotiating side of your relationship, and more importantly, the non-negotiations. Then, at the event, keep in mind that you have agreed with your girlfriend and told her to stay in touch with your ex so that you are no longer friends.
Realize that parenting doesn’t come naturally to everyone, but your girlfriend is doing her best right now. His opinion may change as he develops a better relationship with you and your child.
However, your girlfriend has a point, reducing the separation between you and your ex can affect your daughter’s parenting. Children see and hear everything, and draw their own conclusions from what they see, which cannot be accounted for by the flaws in adult relationships. So, if you have not told your daughter clearly about your relationship with her mother, you two should sit down with her and tell her that although you and her mother are friends, you are not married. , or you have lived together like other parents. . Although the relationship can always change, you should make it as clear as possible that you and his mother will not be together, so he will not get false hope.
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If you really want to be in a long-term relationship with your girlfriend and believe that she will grow to the point where she is involved in your daughter’s life, then she will be ready too. for the discussion. Just do it first through your daughter’s mother. Ross explains, “It’s always helpful, when you’re planning or going through a divorce, to talk about how and when a new relationship and the presence of a new person will happen. so the kids can get divorced,” explains Ross. He encourages parents of today to “agree on policies to gradually introduce new influences into parenting relationships to promote the concept of family and to create new groups of closeness for the benefit of children. “
It will also help your girlfriend and ex see you as one, instead of opposites. If your girlfriend is not ready to do these steps for common purposes, then this can break the relationship contract.
Finally, you must tell your daughter that you are a family that cares about each other. Of course, you are not a “normal” nuclear family, but you are a family – and that’s what matters.
Founded by @aplusk. Stories make you feel good and want to do good. Creating positive change through journalism. It’s hard when you hear about your ex’s relationship and find out they’re dating again. It can be especially shocking to find out that your new girlfriend or boyfriend is always around your child(ren) or your primary child care provider during the parenting period. .
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