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Description: THE ISOLINA RITCHIE CO-PARENTING HANDBOOK ix Before you begin Welcome to the Parenting Toolkit, an easy-to-use guide for today’s busy parents.
Co Parenting Solutions
TheCoParentingToolkit The Essential Accessories for Mom’s House, Dad’s House Isolina Ritchie, Ph.D. Author of Mom’s House, Dad’s House Mom’s House, Dad’s House for Kids Custody and Coparenting Solutions protectionandcoparentingsolutions.com San Ramon, CA The Coparenting Handbook: The Essential Supplement for Mom’s House, Dad’s House Copyright © 2012 by Cuciicsto Coparentings. San Ramon, California All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher. ISBN-13: 978-0-9827295-0-2 (B&W edition) Book Design: DesignForBooks.com Editing and Publishing: EricksonEditorial.net Websites thecoparentingtoolkit.com audienceandcoparentingsolutions.com Custody and Co-Parenting Solutions Before You Begin ix Introduction 1 What is best for children? 1 Tools for Your Success 2 Quiz: What Should You Be Working On Today? 3 At the Heart of Co-Parenting is Commitment 4 How to Use This Toolkit 61 Chapter Use the CoParenting Highway Essentials 9 From Living Together Parenting to Mom’s House, Dad’s House 9 The CoParenting Highway Practicing for Co-Parenting 10 Co-Parenting Essentials 13 Coparenting Guidelines Can Help Avoid Problems 162Chapter Changing Lanes for More Flexible or Limited Co-Parenting 19 Flexible Co-Parenting – the Left Lane 19 Flexible Policies 19 Flexible Policies for Co-Parenting2 23 Limited Co-Parenting Policies 24 Limited Co-Parenting Tips 27 Dangers of long-term limited co-parenting 31 Your own combination of co-parenting Guidelines 32 The Co-Pa r e n t i n g Tool Strengthen and choose 35 Use your strengths 35 Quiz: What are your strengths? 36 What do you wish for your child? 38 Quiz: What are you worried about? 40 Wake Up Calls 414Chapter Fast Healing by Dealing with Hurt and Hard Feelings 45 When Hard Feelings Spill Over into Co-Parenting 46 How to Start the Build Up (And Stop the Bleeding) 46 Negative Intimacy – Your Dark 8th Intimacy: Negative intimacy and again in control 525chapter Use specific business guidelines for your relationship with the other parent 57 How to act “business-like” 57 Parenting company guidelines 58 Policy compliance tips 59 Parenting tips 61 What are your personal boundaries? 62 Grief and Heartbreak—Not Easy, But Necessary 64 Establishing a Relaxed Relationship 656Chapters Try these tools to close communication gaps 69 Keep each other in the loop 69 Communication and communication guidelines 70 Manage your stress 73 Guidelines for limited communication with parents 74 Validate the strengths of the other parent 76 The Co-Pa r e n t i n g tool K I T B y s o l i n a R i cc i The contents of the justification of the middle and the network 81 The miserable middle – no way out 81 Tapping, storytelling, lying, judging 82 Quiz: Do are the children in the middle? 84 When Children Say Things That Trigger Alarm Signals 85 Dealing With Your Child’s Alarm Signals 86 Avoiding Negative Intimacy Traps 87 Problems or Teamwork 898 Chapter Improving Your Problem-Solving Skills 91 Annual Steps to Achieve Time-in-Time: 95 School 98 Your Problem-Solving Style 1019 Chapter Find ways to help your child 105 Things Kids Want to Tell Parents 106 What Parents Can Do to Help Their Child 107 Return Home and Return Home. 110 What do you wish for your child? 11310K a p t e r Good Adjust your parenting style 117 Reflect on your parenting style 117 Guidelines for “developmental” parenting style 121 Your child’s temperament and movement 124 Parenting checklist 2511c124. 127 What have you got now? 128 T r e n t i n g to o l K I T B Y SO L I N A R I c I VIII CONTENT to include in parenting plans 129 Other things to consider 130 Optional private contracts What do you do 321 “What? 13512Chapter Design a Successful and Working Family Plan 139 A Successful and Working Parent Schedule 139 Your Child’s Temperament 140 Time With Your Child 141 Design Your Schedule 142 Secrets Some Parents Don’t Know more than 14 Successful Scheduling 151 Epilogue 155 Appendices Appendix 1 Singles Co-Parents 159 Appendix 2 Parenting Plans, Online Resources and Recommendations 160 Appendix 3 Safety Rules 163 Family Rules Appendix 163 Appendix 65 Family or Divorced Parents and Blended Families Appendix 170 Appendix 7 When and When Not to Use the “I” Message 172 Appendix 8 Important Telephone Numbers, Safety, and Emergency Hotlines 174 Appendix 9 When You’ve Done All You Can Do 1705.You 179 About the Author 180 AUTHOR’S NOTE: The new and enhanced tools and instructions in this book are from the author’s workshops for professional onals and their work with families since the Second edition published on Mamas Haus, Papas Haus in 1997. For the history of the motherhouse-fatherhouse concepts from 1974 onwards, see the chapter references and bibliographical references in the first and second editions. Getting Started Before You Begin Welcome to the CoParenting Toolkit, an easy-to-use guide for coparenting, the busy parent of the day. It is an essential complement to the comprehensive partnership with classical respect, motherhouse, fatherhouse, and its parent-child partner, motherhouse, fatherhouse for children. who live apart who work together to love, protect, conflict and dilemmas that touch relationships and families in every generation. They offer proven and sensible strategies and solutions that parents and their children use successfully to this day. Now more research and experience needs to be gained. That’s why The CoParenting Toolkit was written. It supplements these first books but does not replace them. This toolkit expands and deepens some of the proven solutions from the first books, then adds a variety of fresh new strategies for today. It’s packed with step-by-step explanations, real-life examples, tutorials, helpful checklists, quizzes, worksheets, and quotes from parents who share their knowledge. His mission is the same as in the Mom’s House, Dad’s House books before it – to support you and your children before, during and after your breakup. Before you begin reading this book, please read the following section: “Is Co-Parenting Right For You Now?” For many families, co-parenting may be the best option, but for those dealing with serious compensation issues, it is have, co-parenting may not be the right healthy or realistic right now. This section can help you decide. IS WITH WARRANTY RIGHT FOR YOU NOW? See the questions on the next page. If they don’t apply to you, just skip these pages and go to the introduction. Unfortunately, the list of questions is not happy, but some parents have to deal with these situations. It is best to think about these questions right away to decide if traditional co-parenting is right for you at this point. Tools for Your Success Quiz: What Should You Be Working On Today? At the heart of co-parenting is commitment How to use this tool Dear Parent, Lovers may come and go, but your relationship You probably picked up this book because you and your child have been together for life. the other parent of the children does not live together. You love your child dearly, and you probably share the same hope as millions of other loving parents who are separated, that you can still give your children what they need to grow up strong, healthy, and happy. Perhaps you are just getting started with your co-parenting and are looking for guidance and ideas on how to make it work. Perhaps you already have a parenting relationship and are wondering if there are more ways to enhance or protect what you have now. Or you know and love the Mom’s House, Dad’s House books
Cooperative Parenting And Divorce
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